Delegation vs. Bossiness

I was a very choleric child. (If you haven’t read Florence Littauer’s Personality Plus – it’s a must read!) I can remember playing dolls with my friends and telling them what their dolls needed to say to mine. We would play house and I would explain to them what they needed to do. I was a joy to be around – I knew exactly what everyone should do and I told them so. That way we would all have fun. I was the director and everyone else would have a great time if they just did what I said. Right? It didn’t take me very long to realize that my friends didn’t really appreciate that. So – I began to tone down my bossy tendencies.

As I got older, my choleric came out in other ways. Everyone else was an idiot and couldn’t get the job done as well as I could – so I just did it. Then it grew into feeling guilty for asking other people to do things; in fear that they would think I was lazy or bossy.

Now I am in a position in my work that requires me to delegate. This makes me uncomfortable. See, my mom was Superwoman too – and I inherited this from her. (Thanks Mom!) However – I am learning through trial and error how to delegate and be part of a team. I am part of a team of wonderful people, and luckily they are full of mercy and grace. Some of the things I have learned hands on that are making my life and job a bit easier are:

1. They can’t read my mind. I know this, I have read this in countless books. People have told me this – and for whatever reason it hasn’t fully sunk in until now. My team doesn’t know what’s going on in my head unless I tell them. If I have a list a mile long of things that need to be done – they won’t know that unless I communicate it to them.

2. Communication is key. I will be writing an entire series on this subject, I am sure. Every day I learn a little more in this area. Without communication – a team falls apart. What forms of communication are best for your team? That’s for you to figure out. But I have found for my team – utilizing group texts have been a life saver. Sometimes – we aren’t in a position to make several calls or speak about the issue out loud – but a group text ensures that everyone gets the same info from the same source at the same time.

3. Delegation is a team effort. The difference I have experienced between bossiness and delegation is this: bossiness is about “I” and delegation is about “us”. Delegation for my team is us communicating the list that needs completed – and then figuring out together, as a team, who is going to do what. This keeps me from feeling guilty for asking for help, and it keeps everyone on the team feeling important and valued – because they are!

I am so grateful to have the opportunity to learn and grow every day. I can’t wait to see what lessons God has for me next!

What are your experiences with delegation and teamwork?

What is the biggest lesson you have learned from being part of a team?

Do you have any bossy tendencies?

Teamwork makes the dream work!

XO, Jorjia

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