I was listening to the book “The One Thing” by Gary Keller on Audible and I heard this quote. It really stuck with me.
“Be careful how you interpret the world, it is like that.” – Erich Heller
It reminds me of some other quotes that I have heard like these:
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford
“As a man think, so is he.” -Proverbs 23:7
But for some reason this one hit me differently. I was thinking about all the people that I know who struggle with the holidays, and then I thought about the people I know in similar situations who are full of joy with the holidays. I thought of times when I have been on each side of the fence.
It reminded me of the story about the twins who grew up in an alcoholic household. One of them became an alcoholic and the other never drank. When asked why – they both said that it was because of the house they grew up in.
The point to all of this is that I have a choice. It is always my choice how I want to see the world, whether I want to choose joy or sadness, war or peace.
I can perceive every situation as working out in my favor, or I can perceive it as me always having bad luck.
Now – I know that there are some really hard situations. I know that there is loss, fear, trauma. I know all these things.
But I also know that it isn’t always the event that tortures us, but rather the story we tell ourselves about it.
In every single situation – I can decide to be the victim of my circumstance, and therefore condemn myself to misery and victimhood. OR I can decide that there is a reason for the situation, and it is all working out in my favor.
I can choose to be a victim, or I can choose to find the lesson.
This holiday season – there are a million reasons for you to be sad, lonely etc. But I believe that there are just as many reasons, if not more for you to be happy, joyous and grateful.
You are alive. You have access to technology. Your electricity is on. You have people who love you. You have somewhere safe to sleep.
But it’s completely up to you how you want to be, today and every day after.
How will you decide to perceive this holiday season?
If you are feeling like a victim this holiday season, where else is that showing up in your life? What have been your results so far?
Are you happy with those results or would you like to start seeing things differently?
If you want to change how you feel and how you are seeing the world; here are some suggestions. As a disclaimer – this is going to be some tough work. Please step into this process with love for yourself and a judgement free space. You are human, you are growing.
I would suggest to do some journaling. Here are some places to start.
- What areas and situations in my life am I feeling victimized?
- Where can I claim some responsibility in these situations?
- What benefits or positive things came out of this situation?
- What story/meaning can I assign to these events that feels better and more empowering to me?
- What things came out of these events that I am grateful for?
- Come up with a daily list of at least 10 things I am grateful for.
We love you. We have all had times that we perceive our glass as being half empty. It’s okay to be human. I am so proud of you for working on your perception, doing this work and growing.
Happy Holidays! <3
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