I didn’t say it y’all. (For those of you that have known me for years – that headline was quite shocking, I am sure. I am sorry. It had to be done – because even though I don’t say it – I have actually heard other’s say it, and I have had some admit that they have thought it.)
I was on a live call the other evening, and someone around my age said it. I won’t lie. I was shocked myself. Instantly a number of thoughts bombarded me:
- Did they really say that?!
- If they said it, they do they actually believe it?
- If they really believe it – then why are they even attending this program?
- Are they trying not to believe it and looking for someone to give them attention and tell them that they are not?
- How can I help them?
The first thing that I did was to immediately send them a private message in chat, asking if they had tried any positive affirmations. You know what I mean, like:
- I am nice.
- I am smart.
- I am powerful.
- I am capable.
- I am strong.
The response in chat was that they would, but their significant other was a very needy extrovert. At this point, I realized a couple of things – that there might be some pretty negative self-talk going on, and possibly their partner not understanding that they need some time alone to work on the program.
I suggested that they check out my YouTube channel – Moments With Ms Amy. I also got their email address, so that I could begin just giving them some pointers, perhaps a few audible titles, maybe some books to read.
I also suggested that they work on saying just a couple of affirmations each time that they went to use the restroom. Why restroom? Because honestly, it is something that we all do, and is an easy way to make sure that we are consistently adding affirmations to our day.
Pretty simple things to begin implementing in their life.
What I realized for them, the comment wasn’t that they actually feel they are intellectually unable to learn and do the training, but more so that their environment creates challenges that they don’t see how to overcome, yet.
Then I did a bit more thinking about the conversation.
That is what led me to writing this blog.
You see, oftentimes we will attach an excuse that we feel gives us a bit more empathy from others to a situation when we don’t know what else to do. Most likely this person was frustrated that they haven’t gotten any further along than they have, perhaps even embarrassed about it; therefore, coming up with a reason that sounds logical was the obvious choice.
Think about it – what sounds better – I don’t know how to get my significant other to be quiet and let me work on my lessons, or I am not dedicated enough to find a time that does work, or I am too stupid to do it. It’s embarrassing to say that your partner keeps you from it, yet it covers the fact that you aren’t dedicated enough to find a convenient time.
The logical thing is saying ‘I am too stupid’ because, it doesn’t make you look stupid. In fact, during these current times – it actually rustles up a bunch of empathy from loads of people that will offer to help you, people that don’t want anyone left behind, and that will do their best to help you see that you are not stupid.
You see, the fact that this person was keeping up in conversation, utilizing zoom to be in the meeting, and used the term ‘needy extroverted partner’ – led me to see that they were probably not as far behind educationally as they were implying.
Unfortunately, one thing that I haven’t seen being taught much over the years (I am hoping that maybe it is more frequently now) is self-discipline and personal responsibility.
I think that applying some of that to this situation and the person’s challenges could completely change the trajectory of their life.
Please don’t think that I am judging or picking on this person.
Honestly, I am looking at myself over the years with this. No, I didn’t say or think that I was stupid, but I certainly bought some of my other excuses.
- I can’t because I don’t have enough time. (hmmm everyone has 24 hours a day – I am actually not using my time well.)
- I can’t afford it. (Either I am spending money wrong, or I am not making enough – or both… so I could afford it, if I changed something)
- I don’t know enough about technology. <insert anything else> (anything that I don’t know enough about – if it is important to me, I can learn it – if I don’t – then either I am lazy, or it really doesn’t mean much to me)
- I would have, but…. Fill in the blank (once the ‘but’ comes out – the rest becomes a story, no longer facts)
Y’all may be thinking – dang… you are being awful hard on yourself, and it seems like maybe on others too.
You are correct.
I am not going to sugar coat it. Life won’t change until we change.
This spring, we lost a dear friend. When that happened, for some reason, her light going out sparked something in me. It made me realize that the only reason I am in the spot where I am currently is because I choose to be.
I began to see that if I started to question my excuses and decided to start making little changes in my life – that my circumstances would change.
You know what happened?
I chose to live.
I began having fun on purpose.
I stopped being such a control freak (ok… being honest – I am continually working on not being a control freak.) I began letting go and enjoying the ride a bit more.
I started watching for excuses and destroying them! It became a mission! If I caught myself coming up with an excuse – I stopped and looked to see what could be different.
If my excuse was that I didn’t have time, I looked to see what needed to change in my life if that was important to me, and I wanted to have it in my life. Sometimes, that meant giving up the control and hiring out something that didn’t need to be done by me. Sometimes, that meant getting up earlier. Do you know that a lot of super successful people get up at 5am?!
If my excuse was that I didn’t know how to do something, I looked to see if it was something that I wanted to learn and would benefit from. For the things that I wanted it done, but really didn’t need to learn to do it at the time, again – I either hired it out, or delegated it to someone else. For the things that I did want to learn – I found other’s that knew how to do it, or courses, or YouTube or Google and I learned how to do it.
Y’all, I am turning 55 in February. If I can make these changes in my life, I know that you can too.
Remember how I mentioned self-discipline and personal responsibility?
I have learned that it is no one else’s fault, or responsibility that I am where I am today.
If I want to be healthier – I am responsible for my eating habits, my exercise habits, my sleep habits, my mindset, and everything else related to my health.
I am responsible for me.
Self-discipline means doing what needs done even when I don’t want to. I am responsible to make sure that I keep my word to myself. No one else is responsible for that.
Everyone is responsible for themselves.
There are 2 ways to look at that. We can be excited. Or we can be disappointed.
I choose to be excited. If I am responsible for me, then that means I am the author of my story, and I can make a plot twist whenever I choose, and I chose to do that this year! 2022 is my legendary year, and it is up to me to make that happen.
So, back to the person that said they were stupid, I can encourage them to re-write their story. Then it is up to them. I can give some suggestions of resources and such, but it is their responsibility to have the self-discipline to create the story they want.
What about your story?
Y’all have been hearing about the Strategize Your Victories event. This event will give you the tools, resources, encouragement, and information to pick up your pen and change your story.
Save yourself the extra money, purchase your ticket today. (The ticket prices go up as of September 6th.) There are plenty of excuses not to come – but a really great reason to be there – it is Your Future at stake. This is the perfect time to make a plot twist in your story! Go to conquerwithhope.com and start this chapter off strong!
Maybe there is no way that you can make it to Florida on September 17, 2022 for this event. Consider buying a blessing ticket for someone that might not otherwise have been able to come.
Why? Well, first off – it’s a great positive thing to do. The other thing is it gives you access to our exclusive Facebook group, to our digital and physical gifts, and many other fabulous things. Here is the kicker – it gives you access to information to help you start shifting your story. Even if you are unable to physically attend – you can begin learning how to create changes in your life.
We believe in you. We have been preparing for this event for longer than you know. We want to help you create the story you are dreaming of.
The hard thing for us? It isn’t our personal responsibility to have you at this event. We can hold out the cookie, we can entice you to attend, but in the end – it is up to you.
We know it is going to be life changing. We can only hope that you feel it too.
We hope to see you in Polk City, September 17, 2022.
Not buying my excuses anymore, Amy
As always, thank you for liking, commenting, subscribing, and sharing our blog, and now our website! We are so blessed to have you in our lives. Thank you.
Photo of Moments With Ms Amy YouTube channel Playlist, with Affirming Your Future circled – screenshot from my phone.
Hand & quote – took from Facebook .. I don’t see whom to give credit to. Looks like maybe it was created on Canva.
Flowers & quote – took from Facebook .. it appears to have the artists signature on it.