I got all my notes together, my script and list to call. I dialed the first number and stared at the phone. Unable to make the call. Then, I made a call and immediately hung up. They called me back – I ignored the call. I couldn’t make myself answer. Terrified. Physically unable to do…
This weekend mom and I got to celebrate my kids’ 16th birthday! We live in different states – so we drove to see them and celebrate. On the way there, we received some news that my Nana wasn’t doing well. We needed to let the kids know, but didn’t want to do it until we…
There have been multiple times in my life when I can recall making a conscious decision not to lead, or a decision that I would not lead in the future. When I first got sober, I joined a 12 step fellowship and got a sponsor. (A sponsor is a person who takes you through the…
I have been noticing something as I grow. I have a tendency to scold myself in my head, or to replay the moment where I could have done things better – seemingly in an attempt to punish or reprimand myself. As if I am not already aware that I could have done better. Kind of…
Hey y’all… I am getting very concerned about driving since the world began to open back up after the Covid quarantines. I don’t know if it was because everyone was home for a year and a half and got so accustomed to having their phone in their hand, or what – but it is…
Getting that unexpected call during the night made my heart pound. I instantly began to wonder what was wrong. The voice on the other end of the line was sobbing uncontrollably. My chest tightened. “I’m so sorry mommy. I am so sorry. I can’t stop mom. I can’t.” My heart sank. Terror filled me. My…
A few weeks ago, I experienced a traumatic incident. I can’t go in to detail, but the jest of it is that myself and a couple of my friends helped save a life. I gave CPR for the first time. Everything turned out fine, the individual is okay. I was not. I was traumatized. I…
I woke up this morning to read yet another “Thanks for your time, but we are not interested in hiring you” email. I have been looking for a new job in a different field recently, and nothing seems to be coming through. It has never been this difficult for me to find work, so this…
If you had asked me before, if I was a fearful person – I would probably have laughed at you. Me? Scared? Absolutely not. Do you know who I am? The stuff I have been through? Please. I don’t trust people, but that’s about as close to fear as I get. I would have gotten…
