“Why do you cut the ends off the ham before you put it in pan?”, asked the young daughter-in-law. “Because my mother always cut the ends off of the ham before she put it in the pan to bake, and it always tasted amazing.”, replied the mother-in-law. “But why?” she persisted. The son, being the peacemaker, grabbed his phone and called Grandma. When asked why she always cut the ends off the ham, before placing in the pan and baking, she replied “Because my pan was too small.” (this is adapted from a story that I have heard many times, and I am unsure who to give credit to)

Ham and a knife on a cutting board
Ham & knife

We can hear that story (or read it) and laugh at the silliness of it, but how often do we cut the ends off of the ham ourselves, just because that is what was always done? Never questioning if there was another way, a better way, or even why it was done that way in the first place.

The mother-in-law just looked at what her mom did and assumed that was ‘just how it’s done’. The results were there to affirm it. She saw for herself how to do it, and the ham tasted delicious every time. Obviously it must be the truth.

Can you see how easy it was for her to just follow along without questioning why?

About 32 years ago I can remember being so proud about making a real country dinner for my dad coming to visit. I will be honest, I really don’t remember what else I made besides fried potatoes. I had been practicing making the fried potatoes for Ken and my brother Alan prior to dad coming down. I couldn’t wait for my dad to taste them and say how much they had tasted just like his stepmoms. We ate dinner and as we did I watched his reaction. At first he didn’t say anything, so then I asked him what he thought about the fried potatoes? He said they were good, a bit sweeter than he was used to but good. That’s when I smiled and said yeah don’t they taste like Memaw’s? He looked a bit confused, and asked should they?

I said well yes, I made them just like she did. He asked how I thought she made them. And I said I had seen her secret and how she had gotten a spoon full of sugar from the dish on her stove and sprinkled it on the potatoes, a little heavily. so I realized at that point that was how she made them so unique.

He busted out laughing. Once he was finally able to catch his breath, he informed me that it had been a bowl of salt! I was astounded! Who has a bowl of salt on their stove? (never mind the fact of who has a bowl of sugar, lol) Then I laughed too, and commented about well no wonder Memaw and Pepaw were so well preserved! Haha.

You see, the truths that I had about how to make those fried potatoes were actually false. What appeared to be sugar was salt. I was certain what I saw was accurate. I would have argued my case, except when it was my dad – I knew that he would actually know. I was shocked, but I conceded. The whole time that I had been making them with sugar, we had enjoyed them, and we knew they were just like Memaw had made them. (Now, for those of you following along, and wondering how I could mistake the taste of sugar and salt on potatoes – it had been quite a while since I had my Memaw’s fried potatoes, and she also cooked them in lard, so it was a different taste – which of course mine tasted different too.)

a cutting board with a potato peeler, some potatoes and some potato peels
Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

Can you see how easy it was for me to make the assumption that it was sugar not salt?

How often in life do we allow the facts of what we see (or believe that we see) determine what we believe?

Now, once I knew that she used salt and not sugar – my belief changed. (I didn’t stop making them that way, they are actually really good with sugar!) I couldn’t go back in time and see the bowl on the stove and change what I thought I saw, but my mind now knew she used a lot of salt. My information had changed, and therefore my belief changed.

The daughter-in-law with the ham? Once she knew why they cut the ends off of the ham, I am sure that she and her mother-in-law now knew that the ham would taste amazing even with the ends on it. Their beliefs changed with different information.

So, what beliefs in your life today need to change? Can the information be changed to make that happen?

An incredible thing about our mind is that we can simply change it. It is a mindset shift.

In both of the examples that I gave, someone else corrected the information. Someone else provided the new reality. It doesn’t have to be someone else, you have the power within you. What if you took control and you correct the information? What if you took control and you created your new reality?

What is it that you want to change? What information could you view differently that would begin to create a new belief? How could things change?

Jorjia taught me to look at a belief that I have and to ask myself if it is true. Does it ultimately hold true for me? Perhaps that belief is true, just not true for me. So, I am now passing those questions along to you. Hold your belief up and see if it passes the ultimately true for you test. If it doesn’t? Then believe me, it is time to change the information and change the belief!

Believe it, Amy

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Photo of ham by Karo Kujanpaa on Unsplash

Photo of potatoes by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

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