What Are You Thinking About?

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Time marches on, even as we are sheltered in our home. Time doesn’t stand still just because it seems that our world has derailed. Even though some days may feel as if the minutes crawl by, in reality time is moving at the same pace as it always has. It is our perspective that has changed.

For instance, as we sit at the breakfast table and try to decide what the plans for another day at home should be, our decisions will affect more than that moment in time. For example, shall we stay in jammies or get dressed, work from home in the living room or in bed, watch some Netflix or YouTube – it seems the options are endless. These are a simple choice that may seem to only impact the present. Yet, in the great big scheme of things, should our brain cells really be focused on such mundane non-life altering tasks?

We are being given the opportunity to change – are we going to take that opportunity?

Seriously, what are you thinking about? Are you thinking about some of what I listed? Or perhaps you are thinking about how much the person that worked in the cubicle next to you annoyed you? Or maybe you are thinking about how frustrated you were in your job the week before the shut down? By any chance are you thinking about how glad you will be to get those kids out of your hair and back into school? Are you hoping that either your spouse / significant is called back to work after you are – so that you can get away and let them handle the zoo at the house? (Kind of a passive-aggressive payback for them acting like they are still sleeping while you got up to care for your crying child).

We are being given the opportunity to change – are we going to take that opportunity?

What if we take charge of our thoughts? What if we choose to take advantage of this situation and change our circumstances in a positive way?

Now. Disclaimer: Before you decide that I am telling you to: quit your job, leave your spouse / significant other, give your children to your parents, or some other crazy thing – I am absolutely in no way giving you any such advice. Once you read on, you will see that clearly.

So. Let’s break this down. Bit. By. Bit.

Annoying co-worker or issues at work: realize that you are not the only one that is at home now. Your co-workers, managers and bosses are also home with the same types of circumstances that you are. Understand that everyone will be looking forward to getting back to some sort of normalcy. What can you do during this time at home to better fulfill your position at work? What can you do to make sure that when you head back to work you have the best possible outlook? Consider thinking positive thoughts about that annoying co-worker, or whatever the issue was, and see what kind of difference there may be when you return. (Mind you, I am not one of those ‘stick your head in the sand and miraculously all will be well – but I have learned that often times if we change our glasses and look at something differently – we learn that the negative energy we had felt coming from something was actually reflecting back from how we had perceived it.)

We are being given the opportunity to change – are we going to take that opportunity?

The children at home: wow, for those that have never home schooled, God Bless you. I (as a 22-year homeschooling mom) can only imagine how overwhelmed and exhausted that you are. But, as we learned during some of our extremely challenging years – this too shall pass. Give yourself, your spouse and your children some grace. This is all new territory and it is daunting. These children of yours are not only ‘doing school at home’ but they have also experienced some very stressful life changes. School is not only a building, but it is also a mental shift for them. Think about how much discipline it is taking for you to handle working at home (if you are – and if you aren’t working at home – imagine how hard it would be.) Add to that the fear of this virus – children are sponges, and they soak up what they see and hear. Even if you are not talking to them about the virus – trust me – they know something is wrong. Then take in to account that their friends were in school. Now they are being told that they won’t see their friends for the rest of the school year, possibly not even next fall. This is cause for a lot of anxiety and even anger. So many changes.

We are being given the opportunity to change – are we going to take that opportunity?

Take a moment. Think about your children. Think about how old they are right now. Then do the math. How much longer until they are moving out and on to college or whatever the future has in mind for them. Do you really want to let this time pass without taking advantage of what is right in front of you? Ask them what they are thinking about and really listen to them. Dream with your child about their future. Dream with your child about the family vacation that y’all will take when it’s safe to do that again. Talk with your child. Look them in the eye. Encourage them to take this opportunity to improve themselves as well. Lead by example.

We are being given the opportunity to change – are we going to take that opportunity?

Spouse. Let me share with you about my own personal life. Ken and I have been married for 31 years. There have been ups and downs throughout our marriage. I have to be honest, I have been concerned about retirement. Not just the ‘how will we afford to retire’ but also will we be able to be together day after day after day after day….. you feel me? I have seriously been so surprised and impressed at how our Covid19 existence has been. I told Ken the other day that I think it is going to be very hard for me when he goes back to work. So far he has not worked for 50 days. Some mornings we take it slow and sit around and talk before we get about our day. Some days he is up and dressed and out working on a project before I am even up and out of bed. Some days I am up and slip out of the room quietly as not to disturb him. What I have found is that we have been able to communicate with each other, and been able to be concerned about the other’s needs. Our son is 17 years old and is doing his homeschooling online and seldom needs our involvement in it. So, if you are parenting and possibly homeschooling now, you may think ‘sure you are enjoying your time together – it’s not interrupted by children’. You would be absolutely right. Except, we are now raising my mom. She’s on an Alzheimer’s Adventure and now is in the ‘no concept of time or repetition’ phase. This means she is so adorable and says “I am going to go to my room, and let you two have some quality time together.” Then in 5 minutes she is back out, and says she is lonely and wants to be with us, ha-ha. We are making sure to give each other breaks from watching over mom. Ken makes sure to ‘run interference’ so that I can get on zoom with my team, or so that I can write on the blog, or work on my book. I make sure to entertain mom so that Ken can have some uninterrupted time of his own. We think about the other’s needs, as well as our own.

We are being given the opportunity to change – are we going to take that opportunity?

Spouse. What was it that you loved about your significant other in the first place? What are some of your favorite memories together? When was the last time that you thought of those things? When was the last time that you really spoke to each other like you did back when you were just falling in love? How long has it been since you looked each other in the eye and really listened? Perhaps this time of slowing down all the interference and noise is a time for you to reconnect and reignite the passion and the flame?

We are being given the opportunity to change – are we going to take that opportunity?

We have the opportunity to be discouraged and frustrated or joyful and optimistic. Today. Right now. We can choose to ‘seize the day’ and begin to make positive changes. It starts with changing our thinking.

I hope that this has caused you to reflect upon your life right now. I hope that you think about what can improve in your home just by taking advantage of this disruption in the ‘rat race’ we have all been thrust into and come out of it better, not bitter.

We are all in this together. Let’s help each other come out stronger.

Thinking positive thoughts toward you, Amy

Thank you for reading, liking, commenting, following, and sharing. No matter where you are, you are important to us, and we are grateful for you. We are here for you. Please, don’t hesitate to email us, or comment if there is something we can do for you, or if you just need a positive conversation to help make it through a challenging moment.

As always, if you are feeling suicidal or in any way compromised mentally or physically right now, please seek immediate help. If you are in a country that has a suicide prevention line, please utilize that or 911. If your country doesn’t have that – please seek help from someone safe. We want you to know that you are important and you matter.

Photo Credit:

Unsplash.com

Man in chair thinking: Nik Shuliahin

Coffee Cup: Nathan Lemon

Painted girl: Senjuti Kundu