A few weeks ago, I experienced a traumatic incident. I can’t go in to detail, but the jest of it is that myself and a couple of my friends helped save a life. I gave CPR for the first time. Everything turned out fine, the individual is okay. I was not. I was traumatized. I was having flashbacks, I was nervous and anxious and constantly on edge. I kept seeing their face and hearing the noises of that event. I didn’t understand why – everything had turned out okay!
So, I put into practice something that LIFE Leadership taught me: “Find someone who has what you want, and then copy what they did to get it.”
I spoke to my cousin who is in school for nursing, I spoke to my best friend who was in the service, and my friend who was a paramedic during 9/11. I asked them how to work through this, because I know that my normal way of just putting it in a box on the shelf to deal with later, isn’t healthy.
The responses that I received came down to this:
- Give yourself time, and patience.
- Talk about it with someone you trust
- Practice stress relieving exercises (personal to you)
Giving myself time was probably the hardest part for me. I am a fairly logical person, so for me to be upset by something that turned out well – annoyed me. However, I wouldn’t judge someone else for having a hard time with the same situation I went through – so I had to stop judging myself.
Prayer is basically second nature to me. I thanked God that everything turned out okay, I prayed for everyone’s safety. But when my cousin said to pray – it made me realize that I hadn’t asked God for help healing and growing from this situation.
I don’t like to think of myself as someone who seeks attention. But after this incident, I kept feeling this burning need for someone to tell me that I did good, that they were proud of me. And they did. There wasn’t one person who knew about the situation that didn’t reassure me – and yet – I still have that deep burning need to hear it. Why? Until I was talking about it to my mom, that is when it occurred to me that I hadn’t told myself that I did well.
As strange as it may seem and as awkward as it felt – I went to the mirror, I looked myself in the eyes and I said “Jorjia, you did an amazing job. You handled yourself like a pro and I am so proud of you!”
And just like that – that need for reassurance dissipated.
So, two weeks later – after giving myself time and space and practicing these skills, I would say I am well on my way to healing. I can see all of the good things that came out of this situation, and I can leave the negatives. I was part of a beautiful miracle and I am so grateful that God chose my friends and I.
Have you told yourself that you are proud of you?
What skills helped you heal from traumatic events?
Don’t forget to follow, like and share our blog! We wouldn’t be us without you!